Thoughts in my mind

I hope I can make it!


I want to become a Doctor someday! Those are the words that echoed on my mind eversince when I was still young! I can imagine myself wearing a white doctor suit with the stethoscope hang on my neck and talking to my patient and trying to help patient.

How nice it is if I can be one of the best doctor, that I can be able to help those sick people and will be able to touch their lives. Help, care and love, those are the motto that I want to have if I will become a doctor someday!

Help. Help those people who need my help, without discriminations. Helping people is not looking on what is on their pocket, what and who they are. We are helping because we know that they need "it". 

Care and Love. Taking care of them, not treating them as just one of the million patient, but show them care and love. Coz the life of every person are precious, no matter "who" that person is.

I hope that I can reach my goals and ambition someday. To become a Doctor. To become an effective and efficient doctor. To become a helpful, good and sincere doctor.

But before that, I want to pass first the first stage. To pass the exam for Nursing. I hope God will guide me and lead me to a right path. God’s will be done on me.

I hope that I can make it and will be able to surpass all the trials that will come on my way if ever I will be leading this path. That I will be able to be constructive and be set-focused on my goals to achive my ambitions in life!

Hope that God will help and guide me all the way!

 

Ambition and Challenges!


Ambition. What is the rule of our ambitions in our life and what is the effect of it to our day to day life! Be aware of it! Ambition have two paths, success and failure! Its easy to say that you want to succeed, that you want to be at the top level of your ambition. But it is hard to achieve it, its not easy!

That is one thing that I am pretty sure! Its damn hard to achieve what we want to happen to our lives. Life is not always fair! We must be wise on how to achieve our goals in life. We must have to be adamant to achieve it, and set our ways and methods on how to achieve it!

Ambition is like a challenge to us, a test to our thinking capacity, our strength to set goals and ways to achieve it.

But we must have to be careful to chose of our ambition. We must have to think what will make us happy, real happy! What is real happiness? Real Happiness is the kind of feeling that you will feel inside your heart that will make you feel satisfied and fulfilled in life.

Like what I have just said, ambition is not just because we wanted a thing or a position or dignity or anything else, but because we wanted to be happy with the outcome of that ambition. Our ambition is like a mirror of yourself, it will describe of what kind of person you are and what are your principles in life!

Dont give up! Stand firm! And be strong to face the challenges! Always remember that the prize of all the sufferings, hardships and trials are waiting at the end of the quest. And that your happiness is in your hand.

Always remember, ambition will lead us to a good way and to a right way! And so be aware of it too!

If you have ambition, set your goals on how to reach it, amidst of hardships, trials and sufferings that you will have! Be adamant to reach it and be positive that you can reach it! Dont give up. Be humble and be patience.

Filipino’s Make me Puke by Art Bell


I read one of the forwarded email that alarms me and really bothers me everyday. Here is the email that I receive:

Filipinos… ..*make me puke* (Art Bell)

As we’ve all come to notice, in the past few decades, Filipinos have begun to infest the United States like some sort of disease. Their extensive involvement in the U.S. Armed Forces is proof of the trashy kind of qualities all filipinos tend to exhibit on a regular basis. You can see this clearly by studying the attitudes and cultural Icons of most Filipino Americans.

Origins of Pinoys/Pinays:

Are they really asian? Well we’ve come to accept the fact the filipinos come from a part of the world known as South East Asia . But the term " Asia " is used in the wrong way. You may notice that contemporary Filipino Americans try very hard to associate themselves with groups that we know as Asian. I cannot count the number of times I have seen a ‘ Third World ‘ Filipino try to connect themselves to the chinese or Japanese people. There is no connection and here’s why. The Philippines is a Third World country. Nothing respectable has EVER been created by Filipino people during our entire human history. Young filipino men in America have become obsessed with "import racing". They have an enormously perverted affection for Japanese cars. It’s a common phenomenon. In their minds, these Filipinos somehow believe that they are asian and that it somehow connects them to Japanese people and japanese cars. They often take credit for the ingenuity of Japanese people and say h
You can see the connection. It’s even funnier that, in
Japan , Filipinos are heavily discriminated against. The only filipinos that can live successfully in Japan are the filipino prostitutes. But that’s the case for most Filipino people no matter where they live in the world. Now we’ve come down to this fact…and it is a fact.

Nothing in Filipino Culture can be seen as Asian.

They have no architectural, artistic, or cultural influence which is in ANY way, asian. Thinking of the great countries in Asia such as Japan , Korea , and China there is no way you can possibly connect the Philippine Islands. This assault by filipino americans to connect themselves with the great peoples of North East Asia is foul and disgusting. Try visiting a young filipino’s web site too.

You’ll see something called the "Asian IRC Ring". It has to do with the chatrooms. The most horrible thing about this is that these TRASHY people are trying to associate themselves with Asia again!! People in Asia don’t act like this at all. What we are seeing here is the natural Filipino in its element with full access to technology and this is how they act! You will consistently see this behavior over and over again.

Another interesting thing is that these "thirdworld" people also frequent RC chatrooms such as #chinese #japan and #asian. They must believe that they are somehow related racially or culturally to North Asians. But it’s completely WRONG! There might have been some distant contact With China and even less with Japan during World War II, but these people are actually more closely related to african americans and Mexican americans.

Do the parents of these young filipinos know what’s going on? Would they accept this? I believe that they would and do. This is the natural "Trash" element in filipinos manifesting itself. Nothing good has ever come from Philippines and I don’t believe anything good ever will.

Recognizing your Roots (A Message to Filipinos). To all filipino people:
Please recognize your ROOTS! You come from the
Third World ! You country is a disgusting and filthy place. Most people there live in poverty! Your culture has MUCH MORE SPANISH influence than chinese, and absolutely no JAPANESE influence whatsoever. People in Japan and China , do not act like you. They do not constantly talk about sex and they have a MUCH HIGHER level of RESPECT for each other. There is NO WAY that you can connect yourself to Asia other than location.

Your culture and technological advancement does no! t even come CLOSE to What Chinese, people have done in the past and what Japanese and Korean people are doing now! Everything you do is distinctly filipino. You cannot take credit for Japanese cars, video games, or Hentai! It’s not an "asian thing" it’s an "American thing". You have no concept of culture…no concept of asian ideas or asian philosophy! Can you demonstrate how you use Confucianism or Taoism in you everyday life?? You can’t. And you will NEVER be able to.

I understand that you are trying to create an identity for yourselves as young people… but it is NOT related to Asia . Your Identity is Filipino.
That’s all you are. Just Filipino. Think about what that means….

When I read this email, I was so angry and so mad. It is so mean and Bell is so prejudice. But, I told myself, this is a challenge to all Filipinos. So, before making judgement about this email, I research over the internet about this and I found out that this is just a "hoax" and that Mr. Bell is innocent about this, and actually, Mr. Bell’s wife is half Filipino. And after this alleged email, he received death threats. I dont know if its true. Base on my study about Mr. Bell’s reputation here in USA, I found out that he is an intellegent man, and so I doubt that he will make this kind of email without studying further his judgement about Filipinos history. I try to print out that email and study the structure of it, and base on what I notice, this is not the kind of email that Mr. Bell would write, I notice that the person who wrote this dont know the roots of Filipinos, the Philippine history.

So, just an advice to all Filipinos, dont be so critical about this issue, and we will take this in a constructive way and we will take this as a challenge to all of us.

For the person who wrote this hoax, I will tell you, I can tell what kind of person you are based on the words and judgement you wrote. I know, you are an Asian. I dont know what is the reason behind why you wrote this kind of email, you are so mean, honestly. And please, just an advice to you, please, please, study first our history before you judge Filipinos, try to be an intellegent person and dont base your judgement on one specific person coz that is biased. I know you are an intellegent person, so dont act like you are dumb just because of one person who ruin your ego, ruin your pride. Its not good for you. You are ruining not the Filipinos, but your dignity. dont you think that after this, Filipinos and other culture will be proud of you? Absolutely "NOT", maybe some of them, but majority of them will hate you and will look down on you. So, just an advice, stop what you are doing, coz you are not helping yourself, but ruining yourself. 

May the Lord God Bless you and guide you in everything that you will do!May you will be in peace at all time after what you have done.

Conflicts within


Ourself is our bestfriend and at the same time our best enemy. Its quite complicated. We will deal with a lot of obstacles, like problems in ourselves, problems that surrounds us and the problem in our nation and even the problem of the world is on our shoulder.

I could say for myself that I had been into a lot of problems, not from other people but me, myself. I thought that whatever that comes to our minds are right, that whatever we think is the best thing to do, but it isnt as simple as that. To being honest, I am a kind of a very pessimistic and very sensitive person. I thought that being pessimistic is okay and its alright, but am wrong. Its like a rust that gently makes me weak and my dispositions went to a wrong direction and clouded my thinking and my feelings.

Until now, am still dealing with it inside me, its like that I am trying to conquer the evil inside me and am still fighting with this evil within myself. I dont wanna ruin my dispositions in life, my goals, with this kind of behavior.

Its hard, really hard, coz am fighting it alone deep inside me, no other person who can help me but myself. I believe in myself, my capacity to deal with this. I thank God that I have such a wonderful man in the world, my husband, who really understands me amidst of this behavior that I have, for my shortcomings and flaws in our relationship.

I do hope that one day, I will just realize to myself that its all gone, and that what is being left in me is the traits that will help me becoming a better person, a true person who can help in good ways, a person that is open-minded, understanding and a person that will really make good decisions in life and a person who are grateful enough to what she have. This are the qualities that I want to have.

May God help me!

Against All Odds


Eversince when I was still young, I could say that I already been tested how strong I am and how independent I am…

When I think of love, it is as simple as that like "love is the precious feeling", but is it as really as simple as that?

When I was still young, I fell like am not loved by my family coz of so many reasons, maybe it is just because I am toooooo sensitive, pessimistic…But though I felt like I am not special in the family, but there were a lot of things that I felt so thankful coz of that kind of treatment, it made me realize that I love my family against all odds, against everything that I experienced with my family, in good and bad times, I still love them, and I cant simply turn my back on them and have a grudge in my heart for them. For me, loving a person or a family or friends or anybody else means that you love them not because of "if’s", "but’s" and no exact reason why you love them, because its love..

I hope that someday, before my eyes shut off to forever, all of the people that became part of my life will feel the love that I have for them and make them realize that I made change their lives and give them the happiness that is not temporary but lasting and comes from within…

I owe so much for my family, I will not be here in this world and felt how beautiful and meaningful life is without them..And so, I really am grateful having them in my life and I am so blessed to have them..

For my husband, he is my strength and my bestfriend and my counsellor, my best buddy, the best man for me…I am so lucky that I got his love and set his eyes on me…I have everything that I need in a man.. I only ask for a village but he give me the whole world..So there’s nothing I can ask for, I have everything..

Thanks God for all of this things! I thank Him for everything, for the trials, for the sufferings, for the heartaches, coz in those unlucky times, it made me strong and independent and confident enough to face the world on my own foot set on the ground and faith to myself. I am also thankful for the blessings that I receive everyday, for the love, for the life and everything coz it made sustain my life…Through all of those blessings, my life is complete and colorful, even brighter and brighter each day!

Conquer you self


When everything seems to fell down, just keep holding on and always think that you can do it and you can stand on your own no matter what…Dont feel like you are weak coz the more that you will feel weak, coz our mind dictates our nerves to do, and so if you think that you are weak, that will be send to your nerves and your nerves will follow whatever your minds told them on what to do.

No one ever can dictates our own selves…I remember one author, I just forgot his name, he said that the best achievement in this world is to conquer your self.. God created man  with all the things that he needs, so we have everything, and it depends on us on how to use it…

I know it is very hard, but I will try to conquer my self, follow the road that will lead me to righteousness. I wanted that someday, when I leave this world, all of the people will remember me with positive attitudes and will be a model of the youth of the new generation.

I really want to be like a fairy, that in every people that I will meet, I will touch their lives and make them realize how beautiful life and being good is not just skin deep, but deep down the very inner of ones heart.

Being nice is not just for show, but being live up everyday…

So, conquer your fears and you will be a great warrior of your own self…

God Spee!

If You’re not the one


If you’re not the one
Then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one
Then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine
Then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine
Would I have the strength to stand at all
 
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
 
I don’t want to run away
But I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
 
If I don’t need you
Then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife <husband>?
 
I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
 
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it
I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
 
Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong
That it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side
   
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it
I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you
Then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms.

This is a song that I love to hear, I like its lyrics, I like the meaning and I like the tune…

The Best thing to make your day meaningful!


One night, me and my husband were talking about what will happen if one of us will leave each othe, like death. When I come to think of it, I felt like I cant live this world anymore without my husband beside me. Sound crazy, sounded hopeless, but that is what I felt. I know that it is not good to depend yourself to anybody, but I cant keep myself to felt that way.

Chuck was crying, and so do I, when we talk about it. We promised to each other not to leave each other, but we cannot control our lives, anytime from now, we will leave this world.

That is why I always live each day with Chuck like its the end of my life and tomorrow I will die, and so before I will close my eyes to sleep, I will never forget to kiss and say "ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABE!", as if it is my last words for him. I want to aver how much I love him. It hurst me whenever I think of that day to happen, but life is like that, when there is alpha, then there is also an omega in our lives. That is the constant future that we all have.

For me, making the day a good one, express love to your family, to your love one, to your friends, in any ways, because death is just right beside us, waiting for the right time, so make each day like it is your last day, say "sorry" if you made fault to someone, and say "forgive me"…I know, it is a hard thing to do, but dont you know that those words will make your life great and happy? So, dont be shy, set aside your Pride, coz the Pride is like a termites that will ruin ourselves little by little…

Just take this example, if you will be leaving your town and you will go to other place for good, what you will do for your last day in that town? I am sure, you will say goodbye to your family, friends, and will have a great time with them, talking and laughing with them, making that day a great day with them and before you will left and ride on your car on your way to the airport, you will kiss and say "bye" to every person in your family and hug them so tight….

I just do hope and pray that I will be able to make myself into a better one, not because I wanted to become saint, a hero, a famous, but I wanted to do my best for the glory of God who made me and give me life.

May every people will have a good "end of day" always….Sorry for that term, but that is one way to start a good and meaningful day…

The lost Tomb of Jesus!!! Are you affected?


Dear Readers,

I am a devoted Catholic person, with a strong faith to God. I grew up in a very religious family. I spend the holy day, Sunday in the Church with my family and attend some seminars about my religion and active in Church activity. I was also studying in a catholic school run by the religious orders in our town. I just want to impart my views about this issue today about the discovering of Jesus tomb by an archaeologists and had been documented and put to film by James Cameron and Simcha Jacobovici and entitled "The Lost Tomb of Jesus!

I read and watch some of the interviews made about the issue. Actually, at first, I am a bit upset about the issue because it is an insult to my faith as Catholic, as Christian. But, I try to analyze the situation, I try to analyze what is really the impact of it to myself. It is a big challenge for me as a Christian, as a Catholic believer. I remember one priest then, interviewed in the Filipino channel, and being asked about the issue of hidden books being deleted in the Bible, and he accept the truth that the Bible we had now is not the real Bible, it is just a summary of the whole Bible, edited by some persons and made a new version of the Bible. According to what I learned from my religion class too that a Bible is not a book, it is like a mini-library that consist of many books. And it is being said by that priest there were some books that is not included in the new Bible version. I come to question myself, why those other books were being removed? What is the reason behind why it is being removed? And I answer my questions with possibilities;

1. Maybe because those books are not needed. Maybe those books are not considered part or not essential to the faith of Christian follower;

2. Maybe those books contained some sentence that will ruin the image of Christian faith;

Those are the possibilities that comes up to my mind. But this is the question now, if the reason is the first possible the answer to my question, then, why the writer of that book still wrote that book and published and being put to the original Bible? It is beings said that the writers of the Bible were guided by the Holy Spirit…And so, I think, all of the books that was being attached to the original Bible are all essential. It was like a journal or a history book of what was really happening during those times of Jesus. And so, maybe, the second one is the right answer to my question above.

Actually, I read Bible oftentimes. Specially the Book of Proverbs. It serves as my guide to my daily life and serve as my guiding star in the darkness. And I could say, it helped me a lot, not just spiritually, but in emotional and all other aspects in life.

This new discovery now will challenge all of the Catholic-Christians in the world. If it is true that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene and had a son named Juda, then, it is a big slapped to our faith as Catholic. Because we believe that Jesus was ascended to heaven in flesh, that Jesus Christ had not married to Mary Magdalene, and so, it is impossible to Jesus Christ to have a child named Juda.

But for me, it doesnt affect me anyway. Why? It is because of some reasons. First is that, I dont know the truth about the real life of Jesus, what I knew is those written in the Bible, the Bible is the basis of my knowledge about Jesus. So, for me, it is a new knowledge knowing more about the real life of Jesus and I will not get hurt about it or upset about it because I am innocent and no one can blame me for believing about what is written in the Bible coz nobody knows in this world anyways about the real story of Jesus, of what was really happening during those times. Second, for me, the real God is within our heart. It is being written in the Bible too that our body is the temple of God, and so, God is within us. I will live the life in accordance to God’s will, because I know, it is us who made our life. I believe God as spirit who dwells in me, that lead and guide me all the way. It is in us if we want God to dwells us and live in our life and let HIM guide us and lead us to the right way of life. God wanted all of us to live the life with great comfort and happiness. Just like our own father, our parents, they are always there to guide us, give us pieces of advice and give us all that we need. God is like that. The only difference is that we cannot see God and we cannot see Him in person, because He is a spirit that dwells on us. God give us pieces of advice through the Bible, and I could say that the Book of Proverbs is the compilation of God’s advices for all of us. It is us who will decide if we will follow it or not. It is not God who will suffer the consequences if we disobeyed it, it is us who will suffer in the end. So, for me, I will not blame God for my misfortunes, for my sufferings coz I know God guide me and lead me all the way. I can feel how He worked in me.

For me, the issues about the Lost Tomb is just a new knowledge about Jesus and it does not really affect my faith coz it is just an additional knowledge in history and it doesnt talk about the spiritual aspect of our life. Jesus had his own life, and we will not judge Him as liar. Personally, it is not Jesus who wrote the Bible, isnt it. The writers of the Bible are humans like us, and they are not perfect. I dont blame the writers too. You wanna know who I blame with all this mess up? "I BLAME THOSE PERSON WHO DOES EDIT THE BIBLE". I just wish that they are now forgiven by God with what they did with the Bible. Jesus Christ actually dont have knowledge that his life is being put to words, because, as we all know, Bible was made after the death of Jesus. And so, it is impossible that Jesus Christ dictates the writer on what to write about his life.

Whom to Blame? Those are the editors of the Bible…The person who made the new version of the Bible. May those person may "REST IN PEACE!".

And try to think of this: "GOD WILL NOT JUDGE THE MANKIND BY ITS RELIGION, BUT WITH WHAT IS IN OUR HEARTS, IN OUR MINDS, AND OUR ACTIONS, WHAT WE DO TO OUR FELLOWMEN, TO OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS!".

God Bless and May you will be guided by your own faith!

Reminiscing the past!!!


1st of March….Actually, I dont have any idea what to say, what to write…I miss my native land, but not got homesick..I had chatted with my bestfriends back in the Philippines and I felt happy knowing that they care for me.

I can still remember the time when I was still in the Philippines with my friends…Having a nonsense but funny talks with them..

I think, I have done enough for an enjoyment during my youth days…As I come to think over it, I could say that I am satisfied with my adolescence…

I can remember the time when I have to woke up early from Monday thru Friday and went to school…

I can remember how lazy I am in waking up early and went to school on time…hehehe ;)…Am always late…I can barely remember one of my instructor, Mr. Julius Caadan how mad he was one morning coz I was late and he said, "Menchu its 2 years since I knew you, but until now, you are still a tardy student…"hehehe :)..I am really like that, always late, since when I was in my elementary…

I miss those sleepless nights that I have in studying my lessons, making projects, doing homeworks and assignments…I miss my school, my classmates, my friends..I cant forget those things we did with my classmates, throwing papers, asking for a sheet paper, making our instructors annoyed by my noisy classmates…Asking if there is assignments..Texting each other about the coverage of the exam or quiz…Texting our instructor if we have a class…hehehe :)…How funny…I miss those times when after examinations, we will be either at the beach for hang out or in a dance club or just in the seashore, to keep our mind relax from the examinations…Haaayyy!!! I really miss those things…

So many things I miss, those things remained a memory for me, that I will treasure for the rest of my life…

I come to realize that nothing is constant, everything will change…Our life have stages to be followed…We have no choice to stay on one stage of our life…WE must have to move on and come to another stage…Life is like that…

For now, I am already prepared for the next stage of my life…All I can do, is to look back and reminisce my past..The thing that I could say a treasure for me…I thank God because He made that stage of my life as a happy one, I’ve enjoyed it, and has passed all the trials on that stage…I am happy to meet those people behind that stage of my life and make my life a wonderful one…

Life is not constant!!! The only constant in life is change!!!

God Bless to all!!!