Conflicts within
Ourself is our bestfriend and at the same time our best enemy. Its quite complicated. We will deal with a lot of obstacles, like problems in ourselves, problems that surrounds us and the problem in our nation and even the problem of the world is on our shoulder.
I could say for myself that I had been into a lot of problems, not from other people but me, myself. I thought that whatever that comes to our minds are right, that whatever we think is the best thing to do, but it isnt as simple as that. To being honest, I am a kind of a very pessimistic and very sensitive person. I thought that being pessimistic is okay and its alright, but am wrong. Its like a rust that gently makes me weak and my dispositions went to a wrong direction and clouded my thinking and my feelings.
Until now, am still dealing with it inside me, its like that I am trying to conquer the evil inside me and am still fighting with this evil within myself. I dont wanna ruin my dispositions in life, my goals, with this kind of behavior.
Its hard, really hard, coz am fighting it alone deep inside me, no other person who can help me but myself. I believe in myself, my capacity to deal with this. I thank God that I have such a wonderful man in the world, my husband, who really understands me amidst of this behavior that I have, for my shortcomings and flaws in our relationship.
I do hope that one day, I will just realize to myself that its all gone, and that what is being left in me is the traits that will help me becoming a better person, a true person who can help in good ways, a person that is open-minded, understanding and a person that will really make good decisions in life and a person who are grateful enough to what she have. This are the qualities that I want to have.
May God help me!
September 12th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Hi Menchu,
I’ve read your blogs, it sounded pretty strong to me, I can see through inside you and I’d like to give you an insight on how to deal with these feelings. I don’t like you to change it but I want you to understand and be open minded with my suggestion. You are an incredibly sensitive person, most of your feelings it comes from when your growing up perhaps from your family that doesn’t give you a lot of confident. You are a great and determined person in fact you are HUGE and you are the best. I understand that there’s no one else could help this except yourself but if you just give sometime on reading my suggestion and let it absorb within you it might help. This is base on what I’ve studied and from life expereienced as well. Whenever you feel the negative energy that comes within you, learn how to switch it into a positive outlook in life do not dwell on it, try to stop it, that way you will have control in your own mind and alter your consciousness. All of us has weakness, you may not appear that you have your own problem in yourself but i believe you, you have to pride yourself, give yourself a credit, tell yourself in front of the mirror and wisper, I am great, I am the most caring person and I accomplish a lot of important things in life. In such a way that will help it boosting your confidence. When you are not feeling good inside sometimes you have trouble about your self-worth, and self-esteem, you just got to put your foot down and tell yourself the truth that you’re the greatest of all ….Remember everytime you think negatively switch it over into a positive way so the outcome would be good….Keep cool hope it will help…
You’re friend,
MArilou
September 15th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
Wow! Thank you so very much Lou for your advice. Actually, that is what I am doing right now, hoping that it will help. I dont want that I will be defeated by my “pessimistic” behavior. Like what I said, its really hard, but like what you have said, I should have to boost my self-esteem and ego. You know Lou, I just now realize what you told me about growing up, most of my siblings dont have a trust on me, and its like they belittle me on my capacity because of my defect, you know Lou, until now, its still on my mind, but I took those degradation as a challenge on my capacity, and it help me became a better person, but still its like a cancer on my thoughts that it keeps on coming back to me. You are right, that is one of the reason why I am so pessimistic of myself, coz of what I have experienced. Thank you so much Lou for your advice, for sharing your thoughts! You’re such a nice friend! Thank you Thank you Thank you !!!
September 15th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Wow! Thank you so very much Lou for your advice. Actually, that is what I am doing right now, hoping that it will help. I dont want that I will be defeated by my “pessimistic” behavior. Like what I said, its really hard, but like what you have said, I should have to boost my self-esteem and ego. You know Lou, I just now realize what you told me about growing up, most of my siblings dont have a trust on me, and its like they belittle me on my capacity because of my defect, you know Lou, until now, its still on my mind, but I took those degradation as a challenge on my capacity, and it help me became a better person, but still its like a cancer on my thoughts that it keeps on coming back to me. You are right, that is one of the reason why I am so pessimistic of myself, coz of what I have experienced. Thank you so much Lou for your advice, for sharing your thoughts! You’re such a nice friend! Thank you Thank you Thank you !!!